ShyShy's Blog

feeling a bit low

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 11:10:00 +0000

My dad's lost his job. And my brother's a brainless wanker who has the fucking nerve to blow $3000 on alcohol, drugs, and prostitutes and still have the cajones to demand more money out of my dad. And I'm seeing a psychologist who thinks I should be less emotionally involved with my mom.

And now, I have to contend with my mother-in-law, who once again decided what we all are going to do for Christmas without really consulting anyone. Should be interesting when we tell her that we actually won't be spending Christmas with anyone else and that we'll be at the coast for that weekend. I honestly hope that she doesn't go on an emotional guilt trip, cause I'd probably lose it at this point.

to top it off, dad just mailed us a package filled with stuff, god knows how much he spent on it all.

Freakin' bloody hell, part deux

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 09:25:00 +0000

I've been evaluated by the mental healthcare team (over the phone), and they've decided that I'm not bipolar. That's a relief, I just now have to get things sorted with a psychologist now. BUT the family doctor who originally got me started on this is no longer at the clinic She's moved to another town a bit further away and is doing private practice. Damnit

Now I have to find another GP that I'm comfortable with to discuss my mental health issues

Freakin' bloody hell

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 03:12:00 +0000

So, I just get back from seeing my GP, she's lovely. Anyhoo, I had gone in originally decide on what anti-depressants I should start on. I have been struggling with depression for half my life and the past couple of years have been understandably worse for me. So, I decided enough was enough and I had to get treated. Well, as Dr and I were talking about the symptoms I've experienced, she casually starts asking about bipolar and if it runs in the family. It does, my nephew has it and we know my brother has some kind of mental problem.

Dr thinks I maybe bipolar, and my initial forays into the medical articles does suggest I have a mild form of it. For the past couple of years, my mood swings have progressively gotten nastier and they have occurred more frequently. So, the good Dr wanted me to read a couple articles she found for me and encouraged me to look up more on the net. And we meet again on Friday for the big talk.

**Then again, I'm highly suspicious of the drug, Champix, and I know that it contributed greatly to the mood swings. I was a particularly mean person whilst on the drug and threw out the last week's dose as I couldn't bear the bitch I was being to Hugh and Shyanne. While there are countless articles of the "side affects" of the drug, there are none (that I could immediately find) about the possibility of lingering side affects or even permanent "damage".**

The new beginning

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 01:50:00 +0000

I just got off the phone with my former boss back in Brisbane, at Hoya and she would love to have me work for her again. It'll only be 2-3 days a week, we both know that I can no longer work full time and the commuting would just be a killer anyways.

I should have called her sooner, I have missed working with the gang out there and ever since the rotten apple of the group left, I've heard it's even more fun to be there.

YAY!

Weirdness

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 06:16:00 +0000

I'm just testing the blogging area. I need to get used to this new design and stuff.

Oh yeah, totally forgot this in my surgery update: I'm getting more colour back in my right eye, it's almost back to normal. Cool.

T.M.I.

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 03:56:00 +0000

Ugh... some days you just don't want to know things.

I found a great book, The Thyroid Solution, which was chockers full of information pertaining to my condition. It was relieving to know that I am actually still quite sick, and yet there is hope that I can feel better soon. Sucky bit, is that I have to wait until mid July before I can see my endocrinologist before I can throw a million questions at him regarding the information that I've come across.

Especially the part about people with my disease having a greater chance of coming down with other autoimmune diseases. I'm pretty certain that I have rheumatoid arthritis, or at least the beginnings of it. That in itself is a worry, but the one that had me tearing up last night was Scleroderma. My cousin died of the Systemic type of scleroderma and my mom was recently diagnosed with what one doctor called "age-related" scleroderma or a very mild form of the disease. After watching my cousin waste away from scleroderma, folks, I'm just not happy with my traitorous body and all of those what-ifs.

Bloody hell, I wish someone had torn the pages about scleroderma out of that book. And you know what, the freaky thing was that I wasn't even looking for that book, it was displayed as a newly returned book at our mobile library. Go figure.

*sigh*

But, it had a great section about what partners/spouses can do to retain their sanity whilst living with a thyroid patient

Chocolate bunnies and stuff

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 00:33:00 +0000

Shyanne keeps bugging us to let her have some easter chocolates before lunch. She's definitely"Daddy's girl".

I honestly cannot wait to get a different job. Management sucks big donkey balls. They just hired a new receptionist to work Saturdays and Wednesday arvos between the two clinics, and because they didn't bother to mention those hours in the interview, she threw a fit about working Saturdays. So, guess who's working 'em? And they're firing the nurse because she wasn't doing certain things, funnily enough, it's stuff they never bothered to tell her about!!!! Management has always been pretty shady, and now some of the doctors are turning out to be the same way. The nurse and I are just so uncomfortable with it all. Luckily for her, she still has shifts at the public hospital that she can eventually expand upon on, and she said that she would let me know if there's anything there I can apply for.

I'm over it. You know, don't tell me how much you appreciate teamwork, etc, when all you're just spewing is bullshit and can't even be bothered to tell me you're going to screw me over in hours. FUCK YOU.

On the good news front, my last appointment with the ophthalmologist went really good. Usually it's "your eyes are steady, see you next time, and we'll operate in December". But, this time around, my prism measurements were exceptional and he was stumped as to why. I forgot to let him know that I had quit smoking He was too nice to say "I told you so" in regards to the smoking. So, on the 21st, I'll visit him in the public clinic to get placed on the public list for the operation. Hopefully, within a month, we'll have started the work on my eyes!

For Hugh

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:18:00 +0000

Quote

You are the sunshine of my life
Thats why Ill always be around,
You are the apple of my eye,
Forever youll stay in my heart

I feel like this is the beginning,
Though Ive loved you for a million years,
And if I thought our love was ending,
Id find myself drowning in my own tears.

You are the sunshine of my life,
Thats why Ill always stay around,
You are the apple of my eye,
Forever youll stay in my heart,

You must have known that I was lonely,
Because you came to my rescue,
And I know that this must be heaven,
How could so much love be inside of you?

You are the sunshine of my life, yeah,
Thats why Ill always stay around,
You are the apple of my eye,
Forever youll stay in my heart.

(background) love has joined us,
Love has joined us,
Lets think sweet love.

So kind of me

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 09:43:00 +0000

Apparently Sharon M******* is a popular name on gmail. I usually get emails for other Sharons 4-5 times a month, like that one I thought was spam from a Woolworths in South Africa. btw, they haven't emailed me back once I dared them to call me at work

Back on topic, I play the nice person when I get wrongly sent emails, reply to the sender notifying them of the mistake. And I usually add a post script, the most recent in reply to the sender's massive list of medical symptoms (one sick person), "sorry that you are not well." Another one of my favorites is a grandmother sending her first email ever, and I got it That post script was, "welcome to the internet".